Peer Writing

Description

English 1102
Belford
Peer Review, Essay One

Your task is to read your partner’s manuscript-in-progress and provide feedback, informing him or her not only what he or she has done well, but also what he or she could improve. As such, you should evaluate this as a work in progress, identifying its strengths, noting its weaknesses, and prescribing how to address those weaknesses.

In short, your job is to provide feedback that is both honest and kind. Remember that your responsibility is to help your partner improve his or her manuscript. As such, be candid; you do your peer no favors by telling him or her that the argument is effective or compelling when it is not. By the same token, be sure to receive criticism with grace, understanding that your peer is offering it to help you. Whether you implement those suggestions is up to you. Chances are, though, you will find much of the criticism helpful.

Here are your instructions:

1. Exchange drafts with your partner. Then answer the questions below. When you have answered the questions on this worksheet, submit it to the following:

a. the Dropbox titled “Essay One Peer Review Worksheet”;

b. your partner through the email function on the Classlist page (under Communication tab)
i. attach both the completed worksheet and, if applicable, your annotated version of your partner’s draft to this email.

2. Answer the questions below.

Questions:

1. Open the link to “A Flawless Silence” (or print a copy, if you prefer). Use the hyperlink provided in the essay prompt.

2. Read through your partner’s draft, making notes and comments in the margins using either Folio’s editing tools or Microsoft Word’s comments and mark-up functions under the Review tab.

3. In your own words, summarize what you think your partner’s thesis is.

4. Does the thesis assert what overall message/point/argument/idea the story expresses about marriage and gender?

PLEASE NOTE: If you can’t answer this question, your partner needs to work on his or her thesis.

5. Does the thesis identify a device or devices (such as imagery, characterization, etc.) that this text uses to express that argument/idea? Please also note: If not one device, a thesis that cites two devices would be valid, but no more than two.

6. Does each body paragraph identify a point that supports the thesis’s claim (ideally in the topic sentence/first sentence of each paragraph)?

7. Does each body paragraph identify the evidence that supports that point (again, the point that, ideally, the topic sentence states)?

Nota bene: This should be evidence drawn from the story, possibly supplemented by (but not at the expense of) evidence drawn from research, if your partner has conducted any.

8. Does the essay quote or paraphrase specific passages from the story—or describe specific aspects of the story—that it has identified as evidence?

Specific passages would be page numbers (save the story as a PDF, and the PDF pages will be numbered).

Are the quotations or paraphrased portions cited using in-text parenthetical citations as required by MLA guidelines (see Ch. 14 in The Little Penguin)?

Is there a Works Cited page? Do the entries follow MLA format guidelines (see Ch. 14, LP, p. 97, #67)

9. Does the essay interpret the evidence for the reader and thereby show the reader how that evidence proves the claim the essay makes? In other words, does the essay make the connections between evidence and claim for the reader?

10. Is the interpretation of the evidence convincing? Why?

11. What are three questions you have for your partner after reading this manuscript?

12. What are the specific strengths and weaknesses of this draft? Name at least three of each.

13. What evidence might your peer add to support the argument or main point of the essay?

My peers Writing is:

Damiria Scott
Belford
Composition II
10 September 2020

The Flawless Silence
The exploration of the fictional marriage and how issues unfold in the course of the story depicts a real-life situation that may be an element of influence in the particular avenues of conversation. Li’s argument in the story is a good starting point to explore the views of marriage as a state of confusion and bondage that is self-inflicted. Many are not willing to accept the fact that they are uncomfortable and unable to get out of their current situation without the incorporation of anything to do with marriage. Most of the concepts about marriage developed in the context express much dissatisfaction people live with when married. There is more to the issue of marriage that id derived from the fact many conflicts exist behind the bondage of marriage. There is always an excuse to blind people about the nature of social and emotional attributes through which most people would be willing to offer at every point in time. There is always a level of communication that gives a different sort of meaning when it comes to the development of a varied viewpoint about marriage. Li’s point of view about marriage is a state of conflict most people find it hard to come out while already in the commitment through which they must persevere the drama and conflicts that define the process.
The storyline of the argument about marriage shows a level of dissatisfaction the couples have to assume every day. The biggest mistake is entering a marriage to make another person happy which is usually the case in most families. The code of love is usually absent when most people are getting married. The aspect of defining the level of commitment as a couple to give a sense of living till old age seems one of the biggest problems never solved in real life. The fictional marriage in the story gives a hint of the true definition of life in a marriage that is much anticipated in the level of commitment in every level of influence. It would be easy to define the nature of interactions most people have in general in the optimization of what is required in every level of influence. The standard measure of success in marriage is always the level of communication and happiness. It is something in one way or the other that would be realized and developed in a more real way of communication. Min is hesitant to reply to the man who had been bothering her over the email with stories of love but she was unable to for long (Line 1). The main point of reference is as a woman she had the assertion there is a need to give a man the chance not to frustrate him if it is about love or marriage.
The most powerful mistake that most people make is living in frustrations to please their opposite-sex partners who may even be unwilling to do the same they are asking. Some favors men ask from women in marriage are the primary source of dissatisfaction as well as the confusion that is not well staged in the given platforms. The level of a nuisance at times seems unending with the parties in marriage not willing to make any move to terminate the same situation. At every level, the parties who suffer most in marriage are women who think they have a debt to pay to the men they owe (Line 4). In the process, moral degradation may end up being the course of action that is specific and in line with the course of living. The biggest dilemma in marriage as depicted in the platform is that there is a course of consensus to establish a specific way of communication. Attaining a better way of communication all the parties in marriage ought to have a common ground to define the course of living in a love-based relationship. Min was left without options when she first met a man who would be responsible for her marriage, but they had not met but communicated through emails (Line 6). The state of confusion sets in Min’s life as how she would be finally happy in a marriage that is planned and virtual in the first place.
The use of marriage as a way to succeed in life is something that comes in the minds of most parents. Min in the context is perplexed to choose to marry a stranger to match the way people have to think about her in the society (Line 8). The parents in most cases make choices for their children on who to marry about specific aspects of life like intellectual ability and body features like beauty and handsomeness. The grand reason for matching children for marriage is an aspect that is much affecting the way marriage would be in reality. There is a sense om how the varied measures of communication have to be attributed in the specific way of connecting the parties in a marriage. What is more important is to come up with a level of involvement the married parties would be happy with each other. Min and the professor’s son may not have a love for each other but the way their parents are looking for a way to match them may end up locking them in a lifelong struggle. The context in place is an attribute that may make it almost impossible to define the course of living at every point in time. The need to have a different way of communication at each level is a concern that may make it almost impossible to create a modest way of influence.
Li’s point of view about marriage is a state of conflict most people find it hard to come out while already in the commitment through which they have to persevere the drama and conflicts that define the process caused by the proposed union. The idea the author tries to build is the issue of communication parents may initiate for their children making it hard for them to make informed decisions on who to make lifelong commitments in marriage. The conclusion about marriage is the level of dissatisfaction most couples have is due to a lack of self-initiated partner search to love and cherish before marriage. Without better judgment of what to take in the process of marrying it is impossible to attain the joy that one would think about marriage. Marriage is seen as a source of struggle anyone can resist through making a personal decision that is influenced by either any other party apart from the one wishing to marry.

Work Cited
Li, Yiyun. “A Flawless Silence”. The New Yorker, 2018, Accessed 10 Sept 2020.